Peptember is a month in which we celebrate the Great Pepperoni in the Sky, from whom all things are given. In the beginning, there was nothing but crust, sauce, and cheese. Then the Great Pepperoni dropped down and spread its grease upon the world, giving us salt, fat, and flavor. Today, we give back the month of March in remembrance of it, by giving up all other dietary preferences and submitting to the glory of pepperoni for an entire month. And not one of the short months either, like February. This is a full, thirty-one day month of feasting on nothing but pepperoni, in a holy ritual known as the Cleanse.